I find it hard to let go. To let go of the past, of memories, of feelings, of people. My mind thinks – love is a handshake. The stronger the grip, the better. The more I hold on, the better.

Leaving something behind, like a place for example, is a dramatic event for me, with tearful goodbyes and overpowering emotions of sadness and wistfulness. The thought that I will never experience it again breaks my heart. Why? I guess because every little thing I find beautiful is priceless in my eyes. Before I lose it, I fear the time when I will not have it. After it’s lost, I am lost.

I begin to realize that this naive, sometimes cute for others, often draining for me, way of loving (and trying to hold on to) the world attempts to ignore the simple truth that life is like a cloud of steam. One breath and it is gone. And embracing the moment in its instant beginning and ending is how I will get the courage to live the totality of my life the way I want to.

Now, the sheer brevity of existence isn’t tragic and black, like the sad songs I used to listen to. On the contrary, we grow into the people we are meant to be because of and in spite of life’s painful impermanence. From a defenseless infant, clutching to Mom – to an independent, resilient adult, in peace with the past, the present, and the yet unknown – the future.

These are some affirmations I try to repeat daily to gently tell my heart – “you’re okay, let it go, i love you”. I want to learn to be strong in the face of life’s beautiful but terrible transience.

I let go of all attachment to outcome
I trust how things unfold in my life
My worries do not control my happiness
Peace is a state of mind and I choose it daily
I leave the past behind and I live in the momentI learn to detach from the emotions of myself and others
I am at peace with what I cannot change
I have everything I need in this moment
What’s meant to be will always find a way
My desires are always seeking me out so it is safe for me to let them go and trust the process
I am okay with whichever way the situation goes because everything always happens in my best interest
I am aware of my feelings without letting them control me
I am not strict on my idea of how everything should be
Other people and myself can flow freely and I let go of all expectation
I focus on my own energy and my own life
I choose to be free from the good and bad opinion of others
I release the need to judge and criticize
I can own up to my mistakes and move forward with grace.
I am in control of my breath and my mindset; my priorities and my potential; my perspective and my willingness to forgive. I am in control of my most valuable asset: my entire being.
I am open and willing to live my life in new ways.
Things fall apart because better things are falling into place.
I let go of what the universe is asking me to release.
I don’t romanticize the past. I choose to be present.
My plan B could be better than plan A.
Regardless of the outcome, I am taken care of.
I am not defined by the presence or absence of (person, thing, goal, etc) in my life.
The love I had remains, but I release the need for it to be reciprocated.
I deserve a future unburdened by the past.
I choose to live in the freedom of forgiveness.
I carry the lessons of my past as a badge of wisdom.
Every day is a fresh start, and I let go of the weight of yesterday.
I am a product of my choices today, not the circumstances of yesterday.
The past is a story I tell, not a destination where I reside.
Letting go of the past liberates me to fully experience the present moment.

P.S. One thing that I absolutely love doing is recording these affirmations into a voice memo and later listening and repeating after myself.

Love,

N.K.